Let’s talk about the D word. D for demotivated, deflated, and depressed. With the exception of very few friends who know about it, I’ve been secretly struggling with this for a while now and just pushing through and pushing through and then pushing through some more till I got nothing in me to push no more.
It all started to manifest into actual physical pain, one knee, then the other than my spine. My finger joints don’t move in the mornings… it’s like I’m 90, not 40. I soldiered through October and I think it was the toughest month ever, despite all the good things that have happened in it. Robin Williams comes to mind, the poor guy smiled till the very end and nobody saw him beyond that smile.
I sulked my way down the spiral path and into the deep end. Not the first (nor last time I’m sure) that I get to this weird kind of a state. It sucks to be here and I totally relate with people now who don’t wanna get out of bed. I feel your pain, I really do. And it really puzzles me that I am feeling this way… especially considering that I really love the work I’m doing and I’m passionate about my upcoming projects and my long-term plans.
Luckily for me this time, the nice guy I’m dating wanted to know why I was feeling so down and when I didn’t have words to describe it all, (less so through texting) he just said ‘OK, well hope you snap out of it soon as you have such a bright smile which is like the domino effect!’ He also said that I have the power and passion to make a dark day glow bright! I mention this 1- because it’s been a while since I’ve been treated so nice by a man (so it has to go down in my history books) and 2- because the words resonated on so many levels.
A domino effect can work both ways. Positively and negatively. Just like I have the power to make a dark day glow bright, I realize I also have the power to make a bright day glow dim!! What a waste. We all have that capacity. We all can make this very moment a living hell and we can make it so heavenly. We all have heaven and hell inwardly and the capacity to make that manifest outwardly!
So, I’m gonna snap out of it alright. I’m not gonna let the emotional vampires, energy suckers, and negativity around me get the better of me. I’m letting go of that shit. Depression is for people who can afford it. I can’t… and I got no time for it either.
So I’m flipping it now… D for Determined.
I’m gonna do what I ask many of my clients to do. A public daily challenge. Very few take it on for very obvious reasons starting with how scary it is to put yourself out there and announce to the world how messed up you are and that you need the whole world to hold you accountable because you can’t commit to something on your own.
Starting tomorrow and for the coming 60 days (taking me to year’s end) I’m going to do the following (which is also part of what I teach through Happyness 101 regarding how to take care of your heart, mind, body, and soul) :
- Exercise & eat only fruits for breakfast
- Coach for free on Sunday mornings (More on my Soul Sundays later)
- Read 20 pages
- Study for an hour
- Play my guitar
- Visit, hang out, call, write or skype with friends I love
- Journal (privately or on FB or in a blog post)
- Do 1 worksheet (Byron Katie’s The Work)
I’m doing this publicly to encourage all the other D people out there to get out of bed, out of their smelly jammies, and try this on for size with me. Try it with me for 60 days and make me happy! Or cheer me on, and keep me accountable any way you choose!
Day 60 of My 60-Day Challenge
You have a duty to perform. Do anything else, do a number of things, occupy your time fully, and yet, if you do not do this task, all your time will have been wasted. – Rumi
And just like that… many ticks following many tocks later, my 60-day challenge is complete. It will definitely set the tone for the year. I have cheated on a few days and had to make up on others, I did go through a week of being very ill so the challenge was in jeopardy. Still, the benefits of taking myself through this challenge were many and I’ll list just a few here.
- Having a jam session with my sisters playing our guitars yesterday was totally cool.
- I’ve connected with friends I haven’t been in touch with in a while and got to meet up with some of my old clients and get a bonus treat knowing their lives have changed for the better, priceless.
- I finished all my ‘required reading list of books for the year ahead of time.
- Doing a BK worksheet a day was as good as talking to a therapist about those pestering negative ‘people’ and ‘thoughts’…so liberating.
This was my way of taking care of my heart, mind, body, and soul and this is what I teach through my Happiness 101 workshops in a more expanded way of course. I can go on and on but I won’t. It’s enough to say that in summary, it’s really the little things you do regularly that shapes you into the being you are. What you do and what you don’t do…that makes you, YOU.
I believe strongly that only I am responsible for my own cup and keeping it full. It’s one’s own responsibility.
So are you just occupying your time so you have a good excuse that you don’t have enough time to perform your duty? Do you just get busy being busy and forget what truly matters? Do the people in your life suffer as a consequence? Is your heart yearning for something more, something different? Are your passions forgotten and collecting dust on some shelf?
Our whole life is nothing but an ocean of ticks and tocks… Tick Tock Tick Tock… what are you doing with all of yours? And when it’s all said and done, has all your time, as Rumi puts it, been wasted?
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