It is said that having a baby is like having a tattoo on your face. You have to be 100% committed.
Yet what I see happening a lot is couples in a relationship that is ‘on the rocks’ who decide to have a baby. As if that poor baby is the solution to their problems.
People, this is how dis-functional families come about! They start with 2 dis-functional individuals who decide they want kids. Parents who think their kids have problems would do the world a favor if they would stop for a minute and ask themselves if they are the ones with a problem. Kids look up to their parents as role models, sadly enough even when the parents are abusive.
It’s just how human beings are set up. And therefore it is normal to see kids mirroring their parents’ behavior and mood. It is such a great responsibility having a baby. You are making a human being and very few get prepared for having kids or even get as close to how they prepare say for a job interview or for a social event. So if you want a change in your kids behavior, you have to look at yourself and see what can you change first.
It could be something as simple as using different words to communicate or spending more quality time with your kids. It could also be something that is not as simple, and would require the help of a life coach or a family therapist or a family sit down. If there’s something that needs to be said, say it. Unspoken emotions and feelings that get pent-up grow over the years and cause real emotional damage to the kids in their adult years. They would even take that into their relationships with their own kids. It is a vicious cycle and just by being aware of it, you can be the change, you can stop it.
So if you want happy kids, be happy… be good role models.