Two little simple words each on their own put together make for one huge concept. One not to be taken lightly. It’s like a mysterious puzzle, with scattered parts on an ever-lasting search to be whole! Nahhhh… I don’t subscribe to that idea.
I’m always puzzled by why people, generally speaking, look at single women (and men) with a sprinkle of pity in their eyes. It’s like the look means ‘you are only in transition and you should not lose hope, someone is out there for you.
Now, I’m all for soul mates, twin flames, or whatever else you want to call it, but not when you are to be made to feel incomplete for not having one. It’s worse when you think less of yourself for not having found your soul mate yet.
What if that single person is just totally blessed out being single, or just in a major life transition where having a partner is not a priority, or a million other scenarios?!
A relative of mine whom I love so fondly, only ever wanted to know when was I going to settle down back when I was in my twenties. It’s like no news about how successful I was in my career, or the fun traveling I enjoyed, or anything else would be satisfactory. She used to always say, “Come to Tripoli (my hometown) and I’ll have you married off within a week!” Like I’m stock that needs to be moved.
As you move from one age range box to another, your options decrease. Or so they have you believe, adding to the stress of it all. It’s already almost a burden to find the right mate, more so when you have a ticking clock over your head and people nagging ‘what’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you married yet?’
I still remember being a fresh graduate when I planned one Valentine’s day to attend a gala dinner run by my alumni chapter. I was single. I was going alone. My friends told me I was crazy and shouldn’t do something like this to myself! I defied the odds and went. Got to meet some really good people whom I’m friends with still today, almost 14 years later. If you are single, and you want to go out, make sure you take one very important thing with you… your friends.
You are never alone. Dare to put yourself out there along the path of doing what you love in life… and along that path is where you will meet your soul mate. Wherever you are in the world, there’s someone out there for you.
Someone awesome enough to want to be with you. But my question to you now is, ‘who do YOU need to BE, so you can attract that person to you?’
If you are 25, 35, or 45, single, and don’t want to be so, take some time to ponder that question and then go out there and Be You! Age doesn’t matter. Stop with the excuses that you run in your head like a broken record and get on with it, play a new tune. One that you actually love… who knows, you might very well find someone who will come and sing along with you!
Choose Love. Do Love. Be Love
Love is to be celebrated 365 days a year not just on Valentine’s Day if you ask me. But I guess for some, the reminder is good. Love people… cause all we need is love, and everything else is just everything else. This picture is of love between 2 people… could be any 2 people. Mindful, present, deliberate, and God yes a lot of hard work it was… but even though that relationship is over, the love remains. It always does. Love is the only truth. Everything else is just stories.
Divorce your stories… Marry the truth!
I told the women at my retreat last weekend, and then I watched as they embraced life from a new and much kinder perspective, now that they can love themselves enough first. It’s the underlying missing ingredient for almost every person who comes to me for life coaching. People go about their lives like it’s scary or there’s not enough of it when in reality it is so abundant, it is everywhere. The signs are everywhere we refuse to see them, the messages are everywhere and we refuse to listen.
You can deny, argue, disagree, bitch, and moan about it. You can accuse me of ‘patronizing’ you with all the love talk when the world around us is full of hate…just one scroll down my Facebook wall is enough to depress anyone nowadays. I know. But I say what you focus on expands. I say if you don’t like it, change it. I say it starts right here, right now. It starts with me. It starts with you. How much do you love yourself? How much do you love your everyday? Your reflection in the mirror? The fat on your thighs? The person you live with? The work you do? The sky in the morning just because? Up the dose, turn up the love, and don’t say you can’t or you don’t know how. I challenge you … You Can!
Each and every one of us has the capacity to love beyond belief. It literally runs through our veins and it is infinite.
There’s so much of it to go around for everybody and everything. Yet we hold back. We tell ourselves lies. And we choose fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being open and vulnerable. Fear of not being accepted, appreciated, or loved. Well, let me tell you that is a load of horse crap. And it’s exactly that crap that makes people treat other people like garbage…. because we treat ourselves like garbage, feeding our own minds with crap that is not true. That is why people go to war, kill one another, abuse animals and pollute our planet. Enough! All we need is love, people!
If you don’t start with loving yourself… why would you expect someone else to love you? All we need is love… start by giving it. Love is a verb too you know… it’s something you do. Do love. You can choose love, or you can choose fear. I choose love. I choose love, again and again, and again. Choose Love. Change your life. Impact others to do the same. Show our kids there’s another way. Transform this world.