I wish people would care more about establishing real rapport in their interactions with each other. Rapport is total responsiveness between 2 people, it’s that connection, and real communication. It is being authentic.
It starts with being upfront, honest and truthful 100%. Today, unfortunately, the definition of honesty and truthfulness is all too vague. Is 95% honesty enough? Would telling part of the truth be considered honest? What’s the difference between telling the whole truth that should be disclosed so the other person can have a clear honest picture of the truth, and telling only a part of the truth? For example, it was after a few dates, that I got to know a guy I was with in the past had children,(ok, interesting), it was many months into our relationship that I found out he was afflicted with a disease (it was in remission so no pressure to mention it?)
Most people use only words to communicate and thanks to social media (which is supposed to bring people together) and hiding behind screens, it is now the Only way for many. Fact is that we only retain about 7% of what people say and the actual words they use, so a lot is missed. A lot is missed when there’s no voice (with all the richness of speed, tonality, volume) and when there’s no body language (to read, mirror, touch or connect to). What quality of relationships do we end up with!?! No wonder the rate of divorce and and number of single parents are on the rise.
We all know a ton about relationships, interactions and communication but even the well-read and most knowledgeable of us don’t do or apply the shit we learn. We all carry shit around with us from childhood (whether you want to admit it or not), and a lot of us claim we got it all under control when in reality most are clueless about what’s going on, and very few take the time to do the work it takes to change and sort out their shit instead of hauling it into their next relationship and the next and next!
All I can say is there’s men & women who only think about their cars, looks and ego instead of listening and being totally present with the human being they are in a relationship with and there’s REAL men & women who are actually sincere and invest themselves in the relationships beyond that with themselves. Real people who would give selflessly to their children, their friends and the world at large. It’s sad that only few even understand what I’m talking about or would think they are not exempt from this. We all play a part.
At the end of the day, if we are all really truthful and honest in our every interaction, (especially with ourselves) life, human interactions and establishing rapport would be much much easier. If people take a real look at themselves as much as they take selfies or change their Facebook profile pictures, if we spend less time judging others and instead constructively critique ourselves (instead of beat ourselves up aimlessly and think that’s enough)…we’d have a lot more happiness, love and connection instead of fear, loneliness and disconnection. The human race will not stand a chance if none of this changes. A love generation can never be created. And hearts will always be broken.